Eric is sixteen. He is charming, smart and so energetically available that you just want to grab him and steal him away out the back door to take him home with you, even though he belongs to the best parents in the world. He has spent most of his life fighting cancer in one part after another of his body. His parents are incredibly courageous, loving people who have moved mountains to get him the best possible care. Time after time, they breathe in the belief that they have beat the C-enemy only to be overwhelmed and overpowered with the grief of oh God, not again. His sister sits vigil after Chemo and tells him he looks even more marvelous without his hair each time. Mom and Dad have investigated every possible medical and holistic therapy, seen the best healers and doctors and have spoken to God a million or more times. Psychics tell them Eric has beaten it. Doctors tell them Eric has beaten it.

And what does Eric Think?

Well, Eric has given me a new perspective about the holidays.

When we are away on Holidays, we have no problem just hanging out and relaxing. We can spend an hour or two doing nothing except being together. We genuinely express our caring for each other and have less hesitancy about saying “I love you.” We listen a bit more intensely, hoping to catch up. We share a bit more intensely hoping to connect. Simply put, we are more present.

We greet the day knowing it has the potential for great joy.

We anticipate it and we join in to help create it. We tell people how kind we feel they are, how much we appreciate them and how truly glad we are that they are in our lives. We miss those whose turn it is to travel to the out of town family, and we begin to plan for next year when it is our turn to have them back with us.

We make time to take in the scents and sounds of the day, the laughter, the conversations, the music and the sharing. Every color seems more vivid, every expression a bit more poignant and every minute together more precious. In a country that abhors and avoids feelings like a plague, we allow ourselves to feel the full gambit of them on the holidays. Whether it’s the scared anticipation of what’s behind the Halloween mask or a joyful one about what’s in the beautifully wrapped package, we give into the moment and the feelings on Holidays.

Why not all year?

What is it about the Holidays that give us permission to feel, or rather, why do we give our selves permission to feel more openly during the Holidays? Is it the expectation of smiles being returned on the street, of hands wrapped around warm drinks, the general goodwill of your family and fellow man and woman? Or, is it that we embrace and experience the Holidays and each other differently. I think I need to reframe the Holidays for myself and make them a year round event.

I think at Halloween I will decide to take off any masks that have been created during the year and get back to my authentic self. No tricks up my sleeve, no false façade, just a renewed commitment of me being me.

 This Thanksgiving, I will remind myself that I have much to be thankful for and that it needs to flow outward to others for the rest of the year. No grimacing about what might be missing or how difficult my year has been, when in truth, I am incredibly blessed.

This Christmas, I will have a heart full of love. I will reach beyond what I perceive to be the shortcomings of family or friends and see that they need a space of compassion and love in which to find their best selves, just as I do.

This New Year’s Eve, my resolution, as always, will be to be as conscious and kind as I can be, knowing the world is changed through the individual effort of each of us.

But, most of all I will be thinking of Eric. He has not beaten it. The Oh God, is here again and this time in a more dangerous place than ever. So, I will remind myself how precious life is, how amazing the people in my family and life are and what an amazing gift every moment and every breath is. I will choose not to be weighed down by anything that doesn’t matter and in tribute to Eric’s courage; I will greet the holidays and the New Year with a renewed reverence for life. I will thank him for reminding me that beautiful spirits live life to the fullest, without regret, in hopeful abandon and that every moment of everyday should be, can be,  a holiday.

We wish you a holiday filled with love and an abundance of good feelings. And if you have a minute, say a prayer for Eric.